God gives us our relatives, but thank God we chose our own friends..Today I will talk about friendship because I have noticed that there is just so much to say about it. We all have friends, of the different categories in life. I for one, have come across all sorts of friends; great ones, good ones, not so good ones and the downright, ‘not-so-good-enough’ ones. (sorry to be that point black), but sometimes its only necessary that I should call a spade a spade.
Great friends are the ones who understand you. They know all about you and love you just the same. They influence you positively and are always at your beck and call. Imagine if you were stranded somewhere and needed someone to pick you up, do you have the type of friend who would come to the rescue? If your ‘great friend’ is the kind who will lie to you and say that they’ll come and pick you but instead pull the covers over their head the second the calls ends, or one who will always find an excuse to being there for you, that leaves question marks. Great friends are reliable, there are people you can count on; no matter the weather, season or circumstances. They will always work towards your achievement, because they respect your dreams and believe in you.
‘Not-so-good-enough’ friends are those who you think are laughing with you but are really laughing at you. They are the kind that insist on ruining your life no matter the cost (of course through a lot of pretense) only to reveal their true nature after more than enough damage has been made. They come into your life with a purpose and they will eventually disappear once that purpose has been fulfilled. They will downplay your worth, disrespect you and try to make you believe that you are not worth anything. You innocently think they are genuine individuals but their agenda is of another kind and it’s never a good one.If it’s not to disapprove your worth, it is to meet their own selfish intentions, and trust me they will work towards just that. They will pretend all their life that they believe in you, yet in actual sense, they are working towards your downfall.They will take you for granted build on your weaknesses as a person and exploit you along the same, instead of helping you turn them into strengths. Be wary of this kind.
Not so good friends however, will only love you when you have something to give or, when they can benefit from you in some way. The second things go sour in your life; they run out at such a speed that would ‘put Usain Bolt to shame.’ When you get back on your feet later, they will shamelessly remember that you even happen to have a phone number. In brief, they only love you when conditions are favorable for them, when they need you. And once that equation has been solved, they will pretend they only just realized you just can’t be friends. They will fly off, and only remember that you actually were once a friend when they need you again.
Great friends must not be taken for granted. They are a treasure like no other –this means no ruby, diamond, emerald or pearl can ever measure up to them. It also means that you have to make an effort to be that kind of person too, in their lives. Great friends are the “all-time” friends, and reliability is key for them.
I had a click of friends back in my ‘hey days’ and every time I sit down and reflect on that time, I have no idea why we were ever friends. Of course, there was the occasional gossip of who said what about whom, but at the end of the day, none of these would put any of us to a higher level.
It later dawned on me that we were never friends. We just liked hanging out together. There was nothing positive we ever did for each other. We were selfish and very immature.We were too much into each other’s lives but we didn’t get anything constructive from each other.Years later, I have come across some of them and it saddens me that they haven’t changed one bit.
It is still all about who will be seen where and who will wear the hottest outfit. You would think that after all these years; a person would be less enthusiastic about life in the fabulous lane (especially when you are not so fabulous).
I suppose that if I had chosen the right path from the start, my life would have been different. But I refuse to regret the time I wasted trying to fit in because that path also brought me some good things. Things I can’t live without now, things I am more than grateful for in my life.
There is still plenty of time to make influential friends (if you haven’t already). I have made some of those over the years and in my perspective, they are everything a friend should be. I too, want to be that friend to them. I too, want them to feel they can always count on me. I just want to be the world’s greatest friend, at least to the few who know what it means to be a friend, and I am well on my way there.
Ask my real friends, at least I got a couple of them!