His Love Letter to YOU! Part 1

Brook of my life

Beloved,

I know you are struggling with that sin, the one that you’ve hidden from everyone,

that toxic thought you can’t seem to get rid of, that habit that you can’t seem to break,

I know it fills you with so much frustration, guilt & shame.

I know that it makes you feel worthless & undeserving,

The devil even lies to you that I’ll stop loving you because of that.

I know that you also feel that I’ll leave or give up on you because I’m tired of your recurring mistakes,

But my darling child, I want you to know that, nothing in heaven, on earth & all the spaces between will ever stop me from loving you, for I have loved you with an everlasting love.

confess

When I formed you, I knew you,

I knew that you would fall & just how many times you would,

but I’ll…

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About Life and Its Natural Death

Sometimes when I look at life and the transitions I have gone through already, I literally weep for the beloved original little stuff that have faded away completely, along with those that are getting wiped off the scene at ‘lightening speed’. Most of the times I forget that life has more to it than transformations, and in due process, I lose out on some of the meaningful stuff that used to add meaning to life.

At many occasions, I have tried to throw a flashlight to what life actually used to be like before this modernity “madness” was ushered in. If you do the same, you will realize that there was something real about living and life before the era of internet, the fuss of flashy phones,cars,  the computer era and all the likes. Well, many of us prefer to call it ancient or even to make it too ugly; fake, outdated, and all such names, but on second thought, I have come to realize and appreciate  the reality it comes along with. It’s a good thing that I don’t believe in doing something because everyone else is on board.

Think about this. Just before all this craziness jetted in, we had  apps called bonding, family time. Making friends was the real thing;  be it on a  bus travelling somewhere, or on street surrounded by strange faces and family time wasn’t as expensive to afford. Its strange the way all this went with the wind, because lately, everyone seems too busy, being nurtured only by technology and its vices. Some of us have even taken an extra mile of incurring a double fare of a trip simply because while we were lost in the world of browsers, Twitter, Whatsapp and the likes, we have gone past that junction we were supposed to alight or take a turn. It has gone to an extent of e-meetings, erasing even the one opportunity that was left standing for people to physically meet and interact; forums have been created for purposes of business meetings, wedding meetings and anything you could think about. Make no mistake to think that these people probably live in worlds apart and its in the interest of time that they chose the avenues. No! It must be a vice running in all fresh blood in this generation. By the way this doesn’t mean that I stopped valuing time…I do! but not at a cost of certain things that make up real life.

The sad news is that many of us don’t want to merely imagine what life would be like without internet,and we feel totally helpless in such moments as when we cannot access it. We are blinded with all this that we miss out on the real touch of life, all in the name of catching up with the pace of development.We have decided to live life like a set of robots.

That’s the sole reason why in this post, I have chosen to celebrate certain moments. Those moments when I have decided to take on those things as simple as taking a walk along the beautiful streets in Kigali instead of rushing with speedy vehicles like I am about to save a life, sending someone a hand-written letter instead of an email, as well as constantly reminding my poor head that there is more to  life  than solely depending on whether my phone battery is still up and helping or not. And in such moments, life usually regains its meaning.

As I mourn such moments in my other life, I have also mastered the art of mourning by enjoying what remains of them before it all vanishes. After-all, we only live once in this life, so why rush it like I am only taking a look around and I expect to pass-by again?? Or why the loyalty to routine as if I received a manual to how I am supposed to live life? After all, at the end of the day, “life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

The Weekend That Was…

Wind blowing heavily,giving way to a gentle breeze,and all leaves dancing along the rhythm,decorating the place with different colors,creating a beautiful scenery,fulfilling to the eye. The way the street lights light up the entire place is just like love itself.

And as we drive through the upcountry highway, James Brown’s “I feel good” is playing along(only in my head, the real playlist was gospel songs that my mind has still failed to recollect ). By this time, it feels like only I, know the awesomeness of the feeling even minutes away from the horrible sight of traffic jam,vehicle emissions and congestion of both humans and  the vehicles bring along…Its like a whole new world. Yeah,that’s the feeling.
And yours truly is just having a blast of the serenity. And all this time, all I am doing is  wonder if this feeling would stay for a while..well, at least in my mind. The gentle breeze during day,and the sounds of birds singing are little things that my congested mind had craved for a while now. To spice it all up is a bunch of all beautiful minds. Some of these fellows,through silence, and others through the rib-cracking ‘noise’ all made my trip worthwhile.

When was the last time you had a minute for such simple things as sun-bathing, lying on your back to gaze at the stars, watch the clouds take their time to move; sometimes forming shape that is familiar to your mind, you know,the things that many of you last did during childhood. Trust me it takes moving one’s feet to the upcountry to enjoy these things;they don’t just happen in our Kigali,or in any city for that matter. And if I must say, those are the little things that decorated my life during the weekend.

I love community work. Nothing is appeasing to the heart as knowing that I have been a part of an activity that left the direct beneficiaries with a smile, the very same reason that keeps me stuck to the noble Rotary family. Most of those smiles cost so dearly, one doesn’t just fake their way to see one. So I spent my entire weekend with a  bunch of cool guys from my church in an outreach mission. The activities stretched from constructing houses at the church grounds in the Eastern province. While everyone worked to the maximum, it was a nice thing watching the boys do their thing, while at the same time boosting their own morale; it was both motivating to them and entertaining to the onlooker. If it wasn’t for this, I don’t think they would have got to the finish line…not like they though so either.

To spice the whole long day up, we all end up treated to a bonfire setting for an evening. Everyone here, none spared ended up lost in a whole world of laughter. And for a difference, we all wake up to a freezing cold early morning, just like in the late nights. You know that kind of freezing that makes you freak out on a morning shower? Yeah,that. But no doubt,someone had to brave through and catch up with the morning service. By the time we winded off the trip, every single soul was moved by the hospitality and nice people around.

And then my conclusion was none other than; because such moments bring back life to me, I should do this more often. But don’t hold me to my word this time. I have said lots of such statements after an awesome time, and then life’s nothings swallow my time up, only to realize after a while. But until then, I will be stuck with this memory.

People always leave

(.)

Cristian Mihai

tumblr_static_a47ee9r7er4s8w8s4oc88w400The truth of the matter is that people always leave. Whether we want it or not. Whether they want it or not. Something happens and they are lost to us forever.

And then what remains is their memory. The image we have created inside our heads. A grey skin covers what we felt for them and can no longer feel.

To paraphrase John Green, you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. It is true. And there’s nothing more unbearable than the realization that you can hope all you want for someone to come back and they will never come back, because they never really existed.

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On God and friends

Wow!
I usually read like reading your work but if I must say, this another one of the best pieces I have read from you. And the post kinda makes two of us! My very opinion about that too, I couldn’t agree more. Well thought of Kris! Allow me reblog.

Chronicles of a Third World Elite

A few days ago I was having a sort of existential crisis. I had a few things troubling my mind. Nothing particularly bad had happened; it was just a phase I was going through. The people whom I usually talk to when I’m going through these typa moods haven’t been quite available to talk to lately. And besides, I know exactly how they would have tried to reason me: uriko urifyinisha, you should learn to appreciate what you have in your life, blablabla… so I was happy to sulk all by myself.

The moments that I got to reflect on the things that were bothering me had me thinking about the people I have in my life. Those people I decided could be part of it, not those who are tied to it from the beginning of times until forever and ever aka family. I’m talking about my friends.
I’m not…

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A happy New Yeaaaaar – 2015!

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Today is a new day! A day that brings us to the beginning of the end of another year’s journey. And to the start of yet a new journey. As I sit beckoning on the ups and downs that 2014 brought my way, I must admit it wasn’t a very easy year for me.  But now that I have only hours to go for this year to come to an end, I can’t sit back and watch them all go by before I mention a thing or two. 2014 has been full of both ups and downs but in the due process, there are no regrets, after all there was no holding back. So, I only thank God that I have made it through alive.

The good thing with life is that it’s what you make it. So I chose to appreciate the nice moments that it left stamped on my life; those took my breath away. If I was to take note of a few highlights, there were some exciting moments for me though  the year, and these kept my spirits at sky level. I have met new amazing people, discovered much more about myself; moved a step closer towards where my eyes are pinnedIf I had my way, I would probably make those stay, or recycle them back through 2015, but I don’t have to, thanks to memory. Because after I have erased all the trash, I am sure those will stay for a life.

And for those that left me a little challenged, trust me as it all went down, I was wondering who keeps moving the end whenever I try to make two ends meet.  I was a little mad at them, because they kept taking me off track my once stated “new year resolutions”. I was so lost with those that I almost forgot to open my eyes to what was available.  But once I started recognizing the open doors they left behind, I appreciated them too. Well, at least for the fact that they showed me how strong I can be. After all, nothing happens without a reason and like I always say to selef, “What won’t kill me will only leave me stronger.”

So believing that nothing I have been through has been put to a waste, I say, Good riddance to those moments in 2014, along with the reasons they showed up. But then again, thanks to them, because they opened my eyes to the reality that there’s more to life than it presents for a single day.

Mark Twain once said that the 2 most important days in one’s life are the day s/he’s born and the day s/he discovered why. In my efforts to find out the why, I found out a few “whatswhoshows and wheres”. 

And the answers were note-worthy. So as for now, I too look up to the tomorrows, holding every moment as it sways by.

And, as I usher in 2015, I will toast to new beginnings, a new me, in a new life with new hopes.

Meanwhile, as I do that, I would like to wish everyone of you a very happy new year of great health and success to you’ll. Thank you for making my 2014 worthwhile, for pushing me on, for being a part of my life then. May 2015 take you’ll to greater heights!

And for my blog readers here, thank you for walking with me through 2014 and all the other past years. Looking forward for better stuff in 2015.

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What do you stand for?

…Because, “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”- Malcom X

If you were to think about a time you took a stand and defended it from all corners, what could it have been? What did you do? I will save you telling the answer, keep it with you.
Now think of that other time that you didn’t take a stand yet you should have. What did you ignore then? Were there any consequences? What did you do about it?

Well, I didn’t mean to fire you with questions today,I didn’t see them coming either. It all started when I was having one of those evenings at my crib, you know? One of those I like to call my “me-time”. They usually teach me a thing or two about me. Many times I have been told by people I associate with that I am principled. At first I thought it was in a way to either an insult or a way to put me down, but later on I started identifying myself with this trait, and eventually, I like what I found out about me.

There are things that simply hold meaning to me and yet to so many other people, they just don’t. Usually, I may tell you a thing or two that I greatly value, that I hold on to like they make up an element of my life. And with these, trust me, I offer my best, and they yield results. Now, even though I wouldn’t blame somebody else for not having a similar opinion towards some things in life, because I mean, it’s not gospel truth that everyone has to. But because I realize that at some point it will help, I would want to challenge you, if you are reading this now….Do you stand for anything in your life? Or do you just fall for anything?

Well, it is also possible that you had never given this a thought and its okay, or maybe you have; but at least the few people I have asked about it seemed like they had never actually thought of it. But I will bring it to you this way;

Think about your life, think about the far you have come; think about where you are now; lets say, try to reflect on your life 10-15 years back and then think about where you see yourself in the next 10 – 15 years. Never mind, , I won’t need the answers after this, you will keep the thoughts with you. For all that time, do you think you have stood for something? So much that you started doing it even within your unconscious self and identified yourself with it so easily? So much that your circle of friends eventually knew about it and couldn’t doubt that it is a part of you? So much that even your family is aware of it?
Or are you the “two-sided-coin” kind of person in that even the closest people in your circles never manage to figure out what you are up to?

Well, if you can defy the odds, will you go through the same steps I went through that day; Think of that one virtue that you have stood for, one that you have not failed, or at least since we are not as perfect, one that you have tried your very best not to fail. If you got one, then by now, you must be in position to identify yourself with it. It must not be an activity, hobby or something you love doing most. It should be a character trait; a virtue,one that you have always considered  to be your strength. The kind of trait that you would literally ‘die’ for; that very attribute that even when circumstances don’t look so friendly, you would choose to go for. It could be Integrity, Service, Kindness, honesty, gratitude; there are many of those.

When you keep the practice of these virtues at the heart of your everyday life, you live with a purpose; You build a “character muscle”, you fill the missing parts of a puzzle in your life, it becomes more fulfilling.

It’s usually not easy that given our human nature, we have something of the sort. But then again, who said that we shall always go for the easy shot? After all, life will never been served on a silver platter. It’s all about what will affect our lives in the years to come. Before you decide on what exactly you chose to stand for, think of whether that same thing will matter in let’s say five or more years ahead of you. If it won’t matter, then it’s not worth even a try. If you think that what you will think, say or do about it  will affect your life, then I must say you got it! Because these are the only things that will speak “Life” into your life.

My old lady is very wise, she usually refers to this statement, as a matter of fact, she asked everyone at home to remember it even after she passes on. >>If you don’t know where you are going, any road is the correct one”<<. Don’t ask me if it was her own composition or she over heard it somewhere, but to me, it “holds water”.

TheStandStageSign edit